


Shades (One)

by dipdyedgrey



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Oh and yes, also her dad beat her in the past, and he starts dating our main character, and he's 16, and lou's the oldest, and not to spoil it but he'll start again, and so anyways, and: one direction, because punk!one direction fuels both my needs, but here we go, hahahahhahhaha whatever, her name is grey, i mean not really cuz au so my rules, i'll let you know for potential triggers, i'm a good writer, it is good, it's a stretch, oh did i mention they're a pUNK BAND, okay, parental rape is a thing here yikes, she is super depressed, so enjoy that, so it'll be good, so uh, they're all southerners from the bible belt except lou, they're all these depressed cutter junkies, which are: punk rock, who just moved from the uk, yeah - Freeform, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 14:56:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20155453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dipdyedgrey/pseuds/dipdyedgrey
Summary: Grey just got out of the mental hospital. She decided to post her daily journal for the world from here on out, to avoid dramatically signing it as a death note and handing it to her boyfriend before jumping off a building. The fourteen year old is tired of, well, everything, but especially melodramatics.





	1. Intro

The one good thing about that stupid fucking place would have to be the journaling habit I picked up. Of course, I was already writing everything significant that happened in my life. But that was for a suicide note. This is meant to be constructive. Oh, whatever. I’m out. Dear ole Da, having just turned a new leaf, didn’t get arrested for all those terrible things he did to me. Because there’s no current physical evidence, I didn’t even bother to report it.

I started talking again in there. Sheer fucking frustration. They don’t really care about people in those places. That’s the twisted thing about humanity. You see enough shit, you get numb. And the mental hospital workers have certainly seen plenty of shit. They don’t give a fuck about the immense pain causing you not to talk. They hear you can sing and your vocal cords work and boom! No more accommodation for you. 

Whatever. I needed to start talking again at some point. It’s Tuesday. I got out today. I’m going to school tomorrow. Fuck it. Fuck it! It’s everyone’s first day anyways.

I start high school tomorrow. I jumped off a building last week. I’m glad to be alive or whatever, but, let me just say: pure dread has me wishing I’d jumped off a taller building and hurt more than my ego and elbow.

Whatever. No more dear diary bullshit. 

Stay tuned in, dear readers, for the shit show.

Cuz, yeah. So totally posting my personal diary for the world.


	2. High School more like HIGH School amirite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh tw drug use but tbh if that triggers you i'd recommend a different fic. feel free to contact me on twitter or tumblr if a specific drug is ur trigger so i can know to tag it more specifically.

I wake up to my alarm clock. I roll my eyes and get up. I glance at myself in the mirror in the lamp light. I’ve gained weight. Meaning I can actually fill out my size small shirts now. Oh, fuck it all. I turn on the light to my closet. I grab fishnets and jean shorts and combat boots and a Sleeping With Sirens t shirt. All black, all the time. I change quickly, slipping into some sexy Blackheart bra and matching panties. I haven’t seen my boyfriend since I left for the hospital. If he’s down to skip lunch in favor of Harry’s Explorer, well, so the fuck am I.

I apply eyeliner quick and sloppy, brush my hair and teeth, and go downstairs and see my father. “Do you need a ride? It’s your first day of high school.”

“If I can’t catch one I’ll take the bus. Thanks though, Dad.”

“Do you need breakfast?”

Tempting. And I’ve been eating more… Harold is calling. “Hey. Uh, sure. Absolutely. Cool. What do you mean you’re outside, Haz?” His horn honks. “We’re going through the McDonald’s drivethru on the way, but thanks, Dad.”

“Okay. Have a good day.”

“You too, Dad.”

I go outside, and jump in the shotgun seat of the Explorer. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“No, Grey. I didn’t tell your boyfriend you’re back. But it’s fuckin’ cruel, babes. Louis misses you like… Fucking crazy.”

“Wanna surprise him.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“Mm-hm. That’s why they institutionalized me, y’know. Fuckin’ crazy.” I blow hair out of my eyes and play music loud until we’re at McDonalds. He orders and we go to school. We walk in and my boyfriend is already there. He’s a junior. We’re 35 minutes early. Weird. I duck behind a column and he notices Harry. 

“Dude, there’s no way she just doesn’t have her phone. Her bus came.”

“You know her bus route?”

“Yeah, dude. Same neighborhood, and my two middle school sisters ride it?”

“Oh, right.”

“Get me a frappe?”

“Nah.”

“That, dear,” I pop out from behind the column. “Would be mine.”

He runs to me. I open my arms and he holds me. I pull his head to mine and kiss him. We’re really making out when a teacher clears her throat.

“Just because it’s high school doesn’t mean there’s no rules.”

“I almost died last week. This is the first time he’s seen me since. Forgive us, please.”

“Grace Jackson?”

“Uh, it’s Grey, but, yes.”

“You’re in my first period. I heard to keep an eye on you. I also heard you don’t talk, though.”

“Funny thing. People change. Also, I really wish my boyfriend would’ve been able to say that first.”

She narrows her eyes. “Go on. No making out, though.”

I roll my eyes when she walks away and Lou pulls me into him. “Your voice is sexy.”

I take a sip of my frappe. “Disagreed.”

“Life is gonna be, like, so much easier for you now.”

“Yeah.” I smile up at him. “I know.”

“Ah, Grey! How we’ve missed you.”

“Not just on your short Disneyworld adventure.”

“No, a whole year without you roaming our hallowed halls? Dear God, babydoll. C’mon. Let’s start shit.”

I grin at Liam and Zayn.

“Only if someone has a vape. I’m like, dying, and Dad threw out my cigs, and Haz’s out.”

“Come along.”

Next thing I know, I’m sitting on a sink in a boys’ bathroom, Lou and I making out heavily, my hands in his hair, his hands on my back, arousal levels through the fucking roof, when Zayn clears his throat. “This is better than nicotine. And, it’s better than dry weed, too.”

“MDMA?” I say, eyes glowing. 

“You’re simply not ready, dear.”

I roll my eyes. “What is it, then?”

Zayn smirks wickedly. “Dab pen. 97% THC, vaporized.”

“Oh, shit, yes.” I grab it, hit it, hold it until I’m coughing up a lung and pass it while I catch my breath. I hit it five or six more times and the warning bell rings.

I have a high tolerance, but that shit fucked me up. I didn’t feel sober at all for any of my classes. I barely remember hooking up with Lou in the Explorer (called it). We get to the Styles residence, and I’m still not totally sober. The boys pack a bowl and I need more. I go upstairs, where Anne Styles, thankfully, isn’t. I rummage through the medicine cabinet until I find the ample supply of Codeine. Praise the Lord for rich oblivious parents. I drink some, and boost myself onto the counter. Louis appears and I smile at him. “Hey, Daddy.”

He comes between my legs again, kissing me hard. “Cough syrup?”

I grin. “Want some?”

“Hell yeah.” 

He takes some and grimaces at the taste. I take another swig myself and hold my arms up. “Carry me. I wanna take part in that bowl down there.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He lifts me off the counter and takes me downstairs, my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He sets me on the sofa and I reach for the bong. 

“Dude.”

“Yes?”

“Is that my codeine in your back pocket?”

He shrugs. “She had it.”

I grab it and drink the last of it, take a huge rip off the bong, and spend the night travelling through time and space.


End file.
